Zilch

Because it doesn't matter even if you had everything.

Cherries

Looking forward to the chalet with them cousins this weekend. Other than that, I will not allow you to spoil my happy days. Until you come crawling back for attention.

Warmest Regards,
Natasha Shahril

blasphemy

You're cold.
You're treating me like I'm a stranger.
There's too much space between us.
You taking me for a ride?
You lied.
You're taking my presence for granted.
You refuse to shed light, even some, on what's taking place.
You're behaviour is making me feel out of sorts.
You don't even try.
What happened?

Say it to my face. Freaking say it in my face.

Comeback

Was feeling pretty sucky last night after sis left. Having to get over the fact that she's leaving for good all over again really takes a toll on me. What's more, this I'll have to go through every single time she comes to visit. It so hurts to have and lose, than to not have had at all. Grr. But! I am very glad that I am not the only touchy one this time (dad's pretty much affected too and I find it really sweet). So since this is the case, I have a very strong feeling that I will get to visit my sister soon in Bahrain. :) Then again, I am not betting on it. At all. Cs hey, shit happens.

Anyways, thought I was able to catch up on sleep today but I guess I'm just so very used to having busy days that I could hardly sit my butt down. So please, anyone who feels bored or just feel like wasting money/time, call me up. I am for grabs now (and that's pretty rare). Hehe :P Besides I've got loads of catching up to do. Been away from my friends for too long. So call me up girls/guys.

Blog is dead. Gonna do my best to liven it up. If it ever was in the first place. Haha ciao bellas.

April 18th '09

Wedding's over. No more planning. No more running around. No more frequent briefings. As busy as it has kept me for the past few weeks, I will definitely miss it. The anticipation for the big day was surely my favourite part.

After the solemnization, I turned back only to witness Ibu with both her hands up, thanking God for all. There was a sudden ball in my throat, and my eyes started to sting. My hands were shaky and the last thing I wanted to do was look at my sister on the dais. I walked towards Ibu and embraced her, telling her that it is okay although I knew how much she was already hurting as a mother. Also saying, "You have 1 less monster to think of" trying my very best to add a hint of humour. She giggled then said, "B, kakak belongs to someone else now."

My throat began to burn. As though recovering from an explosion. My heart sank to my feet. And my knees felt like jelly. I then realised that what she said was true. There was no denying that I was afraid of it. Afraid of losing my sister to someone. Always thinking that I shouldn't entertain a thought so silly, that did not matter at all at that point of time. Warm tears began to run down my cheeks. I hugged Ibu even tighter. I hate the feeling. It is the worst feeling in the world to lose your pillar of strength. Your blood. Your best.

The tears didn't want to stop falling. I moved away from the table and calmed myself down. I had to. (or my make up would've been washed off hehehe) Until now, I refuse to digest the fact that she belongs to someone else. Yes, I am very happy for her. Yes, I wish the best for her. But no, I still don't want to lose her.

Thank you to all who came, appreciate it loads. Want more pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1658667&l=ff9e656267&id=755138261 (Part I)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=73449&id=755138261&l=427542d803 (Part II)

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Kakak. Love you always. ♥

Cus I've got my eyes on you

Have alot of things to settle now. Will be back before you know it.