April 18th '09

Wedding's over. No more planning. No more running around. No more frequent briefings. As busy as it has kept me for the past few weeks, I will definitely miss it. The anticipation for the big day was surely my favourite part.

After the solemnization, I turned back only to witness Ibu with both her hands up, thanking God for all. There was a sudden ball in my throat, and my eyes started to sting. My hands were shaky and the last thing I wanted to do was look at my sister on the dais. I walked towards Ibu and embraced her, telling her that it is okay although I knew how much she was already hurting as a mother. Also saying, "You have 1 less monster to think of" trying my very best to add a hint of humour. She giggled then said, "B, kakak belongs to someone else now."

My throat began to burn. As though recovering from an explosion. My heart sank to my feet. And my knees felt like jelly. I then realised that what she said was true. There was no denying that I was afraid of it. Afraid of losing my sister to someone. Always thinking that I shouldn't entertain a thought so silly, that did not matter at all at that point of time. Warm tears began to run down my cheeks. I hugged Ibu even tighter. I hate the feeling. It is the worst feeling in the world to lose your pillar of strength. Your blood. Your best.

The tears didn't want to stop falling. I moved away from the table and calmed myself down. I had to. (or my make up would've been washed off hehehe) Until now, I refuse to digest the fact that she belongs to someone else. Yes, I am very happy for her. Yes, I wish the best for her. But no, I still don't want to lose her.

Thank you to all who came, appreciate it loads. Want more pictures:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=1658667&l=ff9e656267&id=755138261 (Part I)
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=73449&id=755138261&l=427542d803 (Part II)

Selamat Pengantin Baru, Kakak. Love you always. ♥