ordinary people

I have not updated since, I'm not really sure when. Anyways, just a few days back the day that we had all been waiting for arrived. Yes it was most definitely nerve wrecking. I was not able to sleep as soon as the news reached my ears. For some reason, I was excited. I was excited because I thought I was finally going to achieve my targets. The targets I penned down before Olevels even started. The targets for 6 subjects which I thought I had complete control of. Well, obviously.. I was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. I left the school that day without looking back, without bothering about my sister who was calling out for me, without answering anyone who questioned my results, without feeling the scorching Sun. I was devastated. I expected myself to do better. Yes, I was full of it. Yes, I'm sure now that I know my results, I had expected tooooooo much of myself. I didn't breakdown right after, no. It took me about 15minutes to digest everything. I was walking home in the hot hot hot weather, ahead of my sister who had agreed to follow to give me support, with my hand over my mouth - crying. Crying over the subjects I failed? No. I didn't fail any. Crying over the fact that I knew I could've done better. Crying over not putting in enough effort. Crying over the fact that my parents will think the examiners were just being merciful. Or, they were drinking champagne while marking my papers. Right, all that drama aside. I am very thankful that I passed all. I'm thankful that I'm eligible for JC & Poly. I'm thankful that I managed to go somewhere. I cannot wait to go for MassComm. Eventhough private, I think I'll have fun nonetheless. I never did make a New Year's resolution. So here's one now. I shall work hard. I shall be the first, amongst my siblings to make it to the U at a young age. I shall make Ibu proud. I shan't let her cry anymore. I shan't waste Dad's money. I will prove them wrong.

Oh yes, before I hit the sheets. One more issue I'd like to touch on. Sometimes I rrrrrrrrrreally wonder if I've chosen the right friends. I mean, really. This is not to drop hints on anyone or offend anybody in particular. I just, wonder. Seriously.. Friends come & go. They really do, at a fast rate pulak tu. Just a few days ago, I had people I could count on, people I could go to for entertainment, people I could talk to even if it was just a piece of paper I lost. And then the minute you get your results, satisfying or not, they *poof* disappear. HAHA. Yes, certain ones do stay. But those were just meant to be, like we just ate a whole book of chemistry. Right, ignore that line. Anyways, yeah. Is it really so very difficult to keep in touch? Ask about one's well-being? Or just pretend you care? -.-" And you call yourself friends. in 2008, I'm gna try to not be as nice a person as I was in late 07. Because no one asks for an inch when they know they can get a metre. (why does this sound funny?) Whatever it is, Imma have to start a whole new circle of friends. Unless of course we ate chemistry textbooks together. (Aiya, meaning we have chemistry lah and that you'll still be in my heart. HAHA.)

Just when you thought life was full of it. You feel, empty.