armour

I let my guard down, and for what? You have yet to show me why I did this. And if it actually was a good idea. I don't like doubting you all the time. So give me something to trust in. I hope to see a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow, if that's even what I'm on.

It's 4:06 am in Singapore, and 12:06 am here in Abu Dhabi. That's right, I'm still here. I was bumped off the flight back to Sg earlier yesterday because it was full. Plus, it was also because I was on a staff ticket. Which means I am not a priority whatsoever. My God, being in the airport for such long hours sucks big time. Walked about, finally found a functional powerpoint and went online. Saw Love logged on, and started my complain fest. Haha what, it's only normal okay. Besides the only way I was gna make sure I didn't panic was by sharing my ordeal.

I was chatting with him when my phone rang, looked at whose number was displayed and saw my cousins'. Wow does news spread fast or whaattt! She decided to crack jokes making me look like a lost lunatic laughing out loud every now and then. I heard a few beeps whilst talking to her. Then there was an incoming call. I picked it up and the lady on the other line said, "Hi this is Amilda, Ali's sister. I heard you're stuck at the airport? What happened?" And then bam! It hit me. I totally forgot that his sister's working for the same airline which's giving me problems, and is working in the same airport, living in the same country. Told her what happened and she said, "Fine, you get out of the terminal. I'll pick you up in awhile."

How weird is that? A blessing in disguise too I suppose. Or I'd have never gotten the chance to meet her since she's living in AUH. I'm in her apartment now typing whilst waiting for her to get ready and go to the airport. Hopefully I'll get a seat on the flight to KL. Where I'll meet Dad & Ibu. I seriously create trouble huh. Wish me luck all.

2 more days :(

Am in the kitchen right now listening to Raya songs with sis. Very random I know. My God, I swear if just one wrong word is said, I will burst into tears. As much as I miss Sg, I am already dreading the thought of leaving my sis in this hole of a place. Geez :( And check out her status on FB. Sigh

my heart

You've got to give more. Much much more. Right now, all you're doing is taking. It's really sucking up all of the positive energy out of me. Yes, you might not be the most experienced in this but who's to say, really? Quit making me think so much. We're not even halfway through our journey. Perhaps it was a mistake, setting a goal. Or maybe all I have to do is to get my butt back in Sg. 4 days and counting.

Ps: Please don't make ignorance one of your alibis.

13th July, UAE 17:30 @ Costa Coffee

Ok this stinks. I keep having to buy a new drink at this cafe just to get an hour on the net. How annoying is this! :'( And I cannot afford to get anything else cs I swear to God my bladder is gna burst any moment now. This place is a hole! Up till this hour, I've spend SGD8 just on the wireless internet. God!

And this guy who I call my better half, couldn't BE more insensitive. Should I leave my lap top here, get up and rush to the toilet. Or should I get up, walk up to the counter and give the cashier a couple of winks to get an hour free. Or.... Should I just get another bottle of mineral water. Alright I don't have to cs sis is here.

Edit/:

Hehe so that was me throwing a minor bit*h fit in a foreign land, surrounded by Arabic men old enough to be my grandpa who won't stop staring. Had a good time after I went to relief myself though hahaha. So today's the 14th, which only means that I'm left with 5 days to be with my sister. Wow, I won't actually know when I'll meet her again. Sucks how she has to live here :'(

indigestion

I've been flying solo for a few days now, and I've had too much time to spend by myself. It sucks when I have too much time in my hands - it just makes me think so much. I begin to think about everything unnecessary, generate them into something negative and then fret over it. I'll place myself in worst case scenarios that my head makes up just to further disturb me. Now, I really don't know if I ever got through to you, or will I ever?

I'm sipping my iced mocha at costa coffee in some foreign land as I type this. And as I type, I'm worrying even more. I've been thinking about my future too. And really, what am I doing about it? Am I submerging myself in redundant commitments, am I tying my feeble self down with too many unanswered questions, am I being grateful at all? Nobody said growing up was easy, but it can't be this difficult either right?

I've made a deal with myself. There's no way my future will be ruined in the name of puppy love, or in the name of wealth (pfftt if that ever comes into the picture). I am the only kid left for Ibu and Daddy to thoroughly rejoice over, and I shall not spoil that. Once school starts, that will be it. I will make that the best time of my life. I can't wait for August to come. Well partly cs there'll be a short getaway with them cousins to KL. Hehehehe. I will make sure that I love 2009. I already am in love with this year anyways. Almost literally. Nyeahahaha.

Let's just say a few days back a certain someone made me see how very insignificant I could be in your life, and that is a tiny part of why I'm worrying so much. This is the 2nd best thing that has happened to me, and it would kill me if anything happened. I'd hate to be in paranoid city most of the time.. but I cannot help it sometimes. I've been the happiest since the first time I saw you. You're already in my bloodstream. So please, stay.

in 5-6 years

Don't stray, don't ever go away

I should be much too smart for this

You know it gets the better of me

Sometimes, when you and I collide

I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time

Don't let me drown, let me down

I say it's all because of you

And here I go, losing my control

I'm practicing your name

So I can say it to your face

It doesn't seem right to look you in the eye.

Let all the things you mean to me

Come tumbling out my mouth

Indeed it's time to tell you why

I say it's infinitely true

Say you'll stay, don't come and go like you do

Sway my way, yeah

I need to know all about you

And there's no cure and no way to be sure

Why everything's turned inside out

Instilling so much doubt

It makes me so tired, I feel so uninspired

My head is battling with my heart

My logic has been torn apart

And now it all turns sour

Come sweeten every afternoon

Bahrain Day 1

In my sister's kitchen right now, with my lappy. Playing songs, introducing her to Yuna, Zee Avi, Stateless and what not. Haha I miss this. It's been so long since we were this random. It's only been my 1st day here and I've already spent 15 BD = SGD 60. I am so dead. I still have 13 days here.. looks like I'll have to wait for my pay and my pocket money to be transferred into me measly account :'(

Other than that, all is well. The weather is unbearably hot. It's hot, not warm. I am already slightly home sick all thanks to Love. Thank God I've got internet connection here. Happy happy happy! But still the time difference doesn't help. Watching her fry nuggets now whilst listening to The Fray. Gonna watch Drag Me to Hell once she's done frying.

Update again soon, hopefully with pictures.

2 weeks

Hi, I'm leaving for Bahrain in 8 hours. And I will be away for 2 weeks. I'll finally be able to "live" with my sister again. The pillar of strength I've missed for such a long time. Now we'll get to laugh at anything and everything, just like how we used to. Now I'll get to scream, "Kakak" from one end of a room to the other. And I will get to spill all of my secrets to you. I can't wait to see you.

Sucks how the past week couldn't be dedicated to spending time with you. Responsibilities are just a pain in the arse. I will miss you so much, just as it was, we were separated for a good week. And now, another 2.

such babies

I have tried to ignore the very fact that there was history between the both of you. Yes surely everyone shares a story but no, not everyone shares a story like yours. What the hell were you thinking when you said all that to her? No seriously, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

I have no idea who I should be mad at now because obviously none of you deserve my respect. And excuse me if I earnestly claim that I am the only one who is allowed to get angry here. I am the only one who should be sulking, and throwing a bitch fit all at the same fucking time. Hah fyi, I do not swear.

What are the both of you doing trying to find a spot to fit your asses in? The one thing that you two are arguing over, is the one thing I have been happiest about in a long longgg time. No, I cannot accept the fact that you are fucking fighting over my better half. I mean rrreaaalllyyyyy, why argue and kill each other when in the end I am STILL the only one who's gonna be stuck with him?

Cut your crap and shut up already. Quit trying to make a scene and get attention. And oh my god don't, just DON'T get me started on how you shouldn't be hanging out at his friend's place in the middle of the night just to "hang out". I am patient, I am not stupid.

I AM NO PUSHOVER. SO, UP YOURS!

roman soldier

I'm coming back here.

I seriously don't see why I will never fail to find LJ unfriendly after awhile. It just doesn't get me inspired to blog, hence the long absence. I've had so much to say but after so long, you just no longer think it's important you know?

I'm playing Typing Maniac on FB now, I'm pretty much addicted. I don't understand how there can be people who are so good at it. And I thought I had no problem with my typing. Pfft. I have no idea why I'm not asleep. It's the longest day of the week tomorrow and here I am choosing not to rest my fingers. Ok yes that was lame. I'm becoming more like Chandler. I've been watching so much of Friends on my lappy that I even dream of all of them. How sick is that.

Alright the last day of my course tomorrow, and then Bahrain here I come baby! But 2 weeks. Damn I'll miss so many people :(