"A thousand miles seems pretty far. But they've got planes and trains and cars. I'd walk to you if I had no other way. Our friends would all make fun of us and we'll just laugh along because we know that none of them have felt this way. Delilah I can promise you that by the time we get through, the world will never ever be the same. And you're to blame"

I didn't even notice that I have not updated for a whole week. I dare say that last week almost killed me. (And all of my patience) I do admit I'm not one hell of a patient person, but I do try. Nonetheless, I am more than glad to announce that my study break officially starts tomorrow. Muahahaha. I am a happy girl. Studying beats having to complete assignments, meet up with group members, spend your time during train rides talking about datelines. In fact, I'm looking forward to mugging. Because the fasting month starts tomorrow, too.

Better concentration level. Better dieting drive. Better self-control. Am I excited or what?

Won't be updating often. Study study mug mug. Selamat berpuasa semua!

"My speech today will be about the environment.

Personally, I think that men in general have been mistreating the environment. It does not matter how, really, because in the end, all that we do will add up to be a consequence we wouldn't want to deal with. What irks me most though is the fact that we are all aware of what we are causing to the environment. Yet, instead of trying our very best to avoid causing further damage, we try our best to ignore this verity. We all complain about the loss of the quality of life through the damage of our environment, and yet each one of us, in our own little contented ways, contribute daily to that destruction.

Having affected the environment, on a larger picture, we have affected the Earth as well. As quoted from Chief Seattle's speech, Home, "Whatever befalls the Earth, befalls the sons of the Earth. If men spit upon the ground, they spit upon themselves,". After reading that sentence, I found myself in a state of realizing that our ignorance has been a mockery to our Earth itself. A mockery to men, to us, to the world. I realized that even our littlest action can influence ruin. Another quote from his speech, "All things are connected like the blood which unites one family. All things are connected."

So, I say, if all of us were to work together, put in a little more effort, and just care, every corner of Earth would be a beautiful place, a safe place. At the very least, we will know that we tried, that since Earth does not belong to man, we have been liable enough to deserve a place on Earth."

Hahahahaha lol. That was my speech for English lesson sometime last year. Full of enthusiasm and drama, eh? I remember how I was always very confident and happy during English in sec4. There was a certain emotion Mr Viknes made me feel everytime he walked in and taught us. No I am not a freak. He just made me feel at my best, and his jokes were always very sarcastic and somehow thwarted. Apparently, he was also, the only teacher I was afraid of disappointing. I did not even care or think about how Ms Loke/Mr Tan (my FTs) would feel if I did badly. Huahua! Sadly I'll never find that kind of classroom comfort now that I'm in MDIS. The lecturer wouldn't give two wits even if you were choking and gasping for air during his lecture. Gah.

It's a cruel world, period.

Ok that spelt colourful more than cruel. Anyways, I don't know if you guys watched the Closing Ceremony for Olympics '08. Even if you didn't, I assure you - you did not miss anything big. Unless you consider fireworks a once-in-a-lifetime issue, of course. Seriously, I expected a lot more. Kudos to the people dancing and beating the hell out of the drums though. I just did not understand what Leona Lewis was doing up there. And, Beckham. What the heck dude? Go back to your wife lah brudder. I'm not being prejudiced or anything like that (though I'm sure half of you twits out there will think I am) but they should have.... you know what they should have done?

They should have put Shah Rukh Khan up there, with him singing Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. *dance dance shake shake*

HAHAHAHA I LOVE YOU BANANAS ♥♥♥

With arms interlocked, and our smiles evidently disappearing, we sang this song as a family before Kakak handed her passport over to the immigration officer. Sigh. I seriously miss her. ): Must be the weather. Making me feel all sappy and emotional. Nonetheless, a random gathering at cousins' this afternoon. Even if I was occupied with my assignments, the afterglow of our laughters, and spastic mannerisms, still leaves me feeling tepid, and loved. Being the youngest has never been an disadvantage. I have so much more to learn, and I'm glad I have so much more time left to learn.

I love you girls. And how I wish you were here too, Kakak.

Muah muah. ♥

"I think I can make it now, the pain is gone

All of the bad feelings have disappeared

Here is the rainbow I’ve been prayin’ for

It’s gonna be a bright, bright, Sun-Shiny day."

It's Friday night, once again. It's crazy how time flies so fast. Well actually I'm here to conclude the week. Not too much of a fun-filled week, I must admit. Nonetheless I made it through. School has been a huge huge load on these tender shoulders of mine. Heh yes, gag already. 1 more week till the end of the term, and till Nurin Afiqah's birthday party. My family goes through a cake frenzy every August. Haha.

With so much that's going on, nothing actually is for certain. Whether or not things turn out the way you want it to, whether or not you're able to take the pressure, whether or not you'll be assured of a smile at the end of the day - we're all going to have to suck it up, and take it all in. Even if only bit by bit, all we need is for our system to digest whatever we go through. I guess all that I'm trying to say is - No matter what God throws into your platter, no matter who leaves you, no matter what kind of a sick freak abuses you emotionally/physically; always always remember that it happened for a reason. And as much as you're not going to be able to be so positive 24/7, bear in mind that He gave it to you only because He knows you'll be able to get out of the situation fine.

Thanks for all who've been a good sport, and to those who's been giving me support. As strong as I may seem, I do get sappy most of the time. Hehe. Another hectic week ahead, wish me luck. Oh one last thing, Rueban, for the umpteenth time, please please just listen to what I've said. To what many people say. Don't stick with a group just because they treat you good, stick with them because you find comfort and feel secured when you're with them. One more time I hear something like that happen, I won't be on your side anymore, I'll give you double what they did. Yes, this is a warning. Hmph.

I love you babies! ♥

Crazy crazy crazy ride I'm on. It's as good as being on a journey I don't have a map for. School, assignments, exams. No time to update, sorry. No one reads whatever I type anyways. Also, a thousand apologies to those I've promised to spend time with. I never knew I'd be this occupied. Sorry sorry sorry.

I'm gonna take the dive. And I am gonna push the shift to overdrive. Let's just hope I make it through this alive.

Lastly, to you:
I don't appreciate you asking/questioning & telling everyone about me. I have my reasons for not opening up to you, and the answer shall remain with me. Probing will not help. One more time, just one more time I find out you've been on an "interrogation" frenzy. You watch out. I am not kidding.

While waiting for my assignment to finish printing, I have decided to update. Charlie Sophs and I had a random trip everywhere in town after school today. Which wasn't even a proper lesson cs Jailani made us watch a movie called, "Sepet". I actually liked it. It leaves you smiling and is very heartwarming. Might be super artificial in some parts, but it's worth your time. Watch it!

Anyways, I had so much fun with those 2 girls today. We laughed so much our jaws hurt. We had the shopping centre all to ourselves, really. I needed today. Thanks girls! ♥ Next stop: Botanical Gardens. Before our study break okay.

Oh and guess what? Tomorrow is Friday. I am actually excited, idk why. A surprise party for the cousin on Saturday. Okay I seriously need to start blocking out unnecessary thoughts and start studying. A whole lot more topics to cover this term. Shoot.

Tricia Ang's lesson tomorrow. Ciao all.

It's only halfway through the week and I ardy cannot wait for it to end. Too many things have happened within these past few days and I don't think I deserve it all at one go. Nonetheless, what's to happen is to happen and I am in no position whatsoever to change it's course.

Irony irony, oh sweet irony.

Anyhoo. The time spent alone after school today was everything but dreadful :) With Madonna and Ne-Yo and One Republic in my ears, I literally danced my way home. Hahahahahaha unglamorous, totally. But if you were in my shoes, I'm pretty darn sure you'd do more than dance. Nyeaha.

I have this burning desire to go to the seaside. Sit on the breakwater and feel the wind in my hair. No I am not depressed. I just need a breather. Anyone who wants to calm your nerves down, is welcomed to tag along. I think I'll do this before the fasting month arrives. Till soon babies. ♥

No one could ever know me

No one could ever see me

Seems you're the only one who knows

What it's like to be me

Someone to face the day with

Make it through all the rest with

Someone I'll always laugh with

Even at my worst I'm best with you, yeah

I miss my sister so much. Especially when I know for sure, now, that she's the only one who will get me from head to toe. Even if I spoke Greek, she'll get me. What's worse, I know something's bugging her. But she isn't sharing. I seriously cannot wait to visit her in December. There isn't anything left to look forward to here anyways. Hah. Ok I'm being all sappy again. Nonetheless, I can't wait for the fasting month too! Thank God I'll be having my study break and my exams during the whole period. No everyday lessons.

Ps: nicely done, nicely done. you win - hands down.

What goes up must come down, what goes up must come down, what goes up must come down. Yes I deleted the previous entry. Because I'm laughing it all off. Every single bitter bit of it. I is strong. Cuz worrying just takes up alot of time and a hell load of my brain juice. Betul tak Aishah? So screw it. I am back, back, back.

Nonetheless I am very psyched about Friday because it'll just mean that I've already completed another one of my miserable assignments. Sophia has been the best partner ever, and although my presentation today turned out to be the worst one yet, I don't care. I got what I want :) Thanks Saul.

I still have yet to upload pictures from the wedding and HSM On Ice. Hahahaha. Penat ah penat, and sibuk ah sibuk. Goodnight all.

I'm back from Malaysia. Initially, I had no idea I was going to overnight at my aunt's place. Mum told me only in the morning. And I'm guessing it's cs she was afraid I'd object. Which was what happened exactly. Hahaha. It's not that I'm spoilt and don't like the company of them cousins. It's just that it's a wedding, a big event. And we aren't the only ones who will stay there. Instead of helping and making things easier for them, we'll be an obstruction. Nonetheless, this explanation of mine got me nowhere. We stayed, for a night.

Undeniably, I had fun. Ended up not sleeping. So I made up for it today. :) Got home, and slept like a pig. Or whatever animal which sleeps a lot. I have many many pictures but I left my camera with my cousin so I'll upload them when I get it back tomorrow. I want my very own camera. One I can throw around and drop and use and charge and not charge and scratch at my own expense. Do I save, or do I wait for my birthday? ;)

Talking about my birthday, my mum was making a huge fuss about renting a chalet and celebrating my seventeeth. I disagreed because I'm only turning 17, not 21. And seriously, I don't think many people will turn up. I have not many friends you know. Hoho. Anyways, yeah. The conversation got very loud. Hahahaha not rude loud, but excited loud. In the end 3 of my aunts and my cousins got involved and yadda yadda. Ironically, we did not resolve the issue. Cs we ended up talking about Hari Raya. Welcome to the Tulus family.

The wedding was disorganised and my family seemed disfunctional. However the fun I had within these 2 days was definitely refreshing and brought me back to reality. I could feel out of sorts, I could feel like I don't belong, you could be a lawyer, you could be a farmer, you could be selling pisang goreng/roti john by the side of the road. But as family, none of that should matter because blood is afterall thicker than water.

I don't actually know where I'm going with this entry of mine, but I still feel like going on. While snapping pictures, and watching my cousin on the pelamin yesterday, Kak Nor and I looked at each other and coincidentally we could see tears in each other eyes. We were happy, but sad at the same time because Mak couldn't be with us. And what killed us inside was the fact that Mak had actually foreseen that night. She had told Kak Nor how much she had wanted to go for the wedding. Because then she'll be able to see her grandchildren, nieces/nephews, and siblings. I broke down and so did Kak Nor. With cameras in our hands, and the atmosphere so cheery, we cried. We sobbed. It's funny how things happen so fast, and although you really want to, you cannot stop it from occuring. If it's time to go, it's time to go.

I am not sure about you guys out there but family means everything to me. The principles my family have will stay with me right till the end. As harsh and as blunt as they are, they know how to make everything better. Sometimes I think I'm the only one who has such a family. A family which was built on pure love. Look at the amount of junk I've typed. I feel like I'm really blessed. And sometimes I hate myself. Because I know I'm not thankful/grateful enough for what I was born into. I love everyone in my family. And I'm not only talking about my direct family, but my extended family.

Photos will be uploaded as soon as possible. ♥

Ps: I feel bad. I feel bad because I haven't been spending time with a person whom I call my best friend. I'm sorry we had to go separate ways and I'm sorry all we've worked towards didn't actually happen. Sometimes I feel really horrible because it seems as though I don't bother, but it hurts at the same time because I actually do. I care so much but I don't know how else to show it.

I want I want those!

When I grow up I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies

When I grow up I wanna see the world, drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies

When I grow up, be on tv, people know me, be on magazines

When I grow up, Fresh and clean, number one chick when I step out on the scene

I just realised that it's "I wanna have groupies". All this while, I thought it was "I wanna have boobies". Worst of all, we were singing it as boobies at Singfest, and everytime Nicole said boobiesgroupies, Charlie Sophs and I will be pointing to our boobies.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

Such an honest mistake, don't you think?

Are you afraid to go too deep, in a new relationship? This person seems like a wonderful addition to your life, but there is something about them that either confuses you or concerns you. Take some time, today, to think more about this -- is it a legitimate fear, or are you projecting some of your own stuff onto them? The conclusion might surprise you. Sometimes, new people enter our lives to make us question ourselves, not just to enjoy ourselves.

So darn true, don't you think? Especially the last part. Sad, but true. Gah! Nonetheless, although I had a really screwed up day yesterday, I'm a much happier person today. Finally got to spend time with the family, even if it was only a redundant trip to Geylang and dinner. I am glad I'm finally getting closer to my sister in law. And I no longer find her irritating and pesky. Hahaha I'm not mean, I take a longer time to adapt.

Oh yes! Matt Bindhi was telling me that he thinks I'm a boy trapped in a girl's body. I didn't actually know how to react to that. Cs no one has said that to me before. I'm guessing he thinks that cs I punch him all the time. Hahahaha don't blame me, you asked for it. Seriously if boys treat girls the way they treat their friends, no room is left for subtleness. And unlike other girls who just sit & cry when someone talks them down, I do what I have to do. I have an elder brother who is rough to me all the time. Sorry but I grew up learning how to defend myself. Seriously if you were a boy, and you had a girl friend, would you want her to be poised and gentle and scared of getting herself dirty. Or would you want her to know about soccer, laugh out loud and have fun?

I will so go for the latter.

Why be all gentle when the people around you are definitely the opposite of that. Not like they'll be gentle WITH you. I like to hang out with people and be of an equal standard. Not to obstruct them and have them constantly think about ways and things to do so that I won't break my arm or get dirt on my frilly dress. Pfft, screw it. Anyhoo, as much of a boy I may seem to most of you, I'm sorry you think so. Cs this is what makes me Nurul Natasha Bte Rudy Shahril. ;)

Also Matt told me that many people think my stare is scary. I stare at you because you are noisy, irritating or freaky. If you were at a movie, and someone went on talking and laughing, not even trying to whisper behind you, you'd hate it correct? Exactly why I stare most of the time.

I'm going for High School Musical on Ice tomorrow with my cousin and her son. I think it'll be fun after this whole week of pure frustration and fretting. And then my weekends will be spent in JB with cousins from Sg and Msia. I am sexcited. Talk to you bananas soon. Muah!

IMAGE HEAVY!

Marco & Ali

Hafiz & Hafiz (Legolas Squared hahahaha)

Stacie Oricco first to perform

Jason Mraz *kisskiss*

Despite turning tanned and going home with a face so oily I was almost the ambassador of Saudi Arabia (since they're known for oil).

Stacie Oricco was a doll, One Republic was awesome, Panic! At the Disco shook their hair, Jason Mraz rocked the stage, Pussycat dolls made me drool over them, Rick Astley made my emotive enzymes tingle, and Alicia Keys wore tights. Watching all these people under the stars with girls who don't actually care how uncool they look (i totally didnt care about how much of a witch i looked like), and guys who lie down complaining about the heat is definitely heartwarming and fun fun funnnnnnnnntastic. In fact just thinking about what happened how much I sang and how we all were dancing like monkeys on a frying pan with our hair in our faces snapping pictures every 40secs is making me want to type without punctuation now. Hahahahahaha I miss Singfest already! Gah.

Sorry if the pictures aren't very fulfilling. I didn't take many cs I was too busy enjoying myself. Hahahahaha seriously that was all I cared about. I'll look for whoever took videos and post them soon. Till then, ciao babies! ♥

I've been away from blogging for awhile now. And that's just because I'm just making sure I'll meet my deadlines. Nonetheless, Singfest was the best way to unwind and let my hair down (almost literally). The heat, the perspiration, the sorethroat, the mini stampede, the suntanning - all worth it! I shall post a proper entry when I get all the pictures from the rest.

Thanks to Sophs, Charlie, Marco (and clients), Jeremy and Ali (and friends) for yesterday. And a special thank you to Kak Seri. For making sure I got home safe & sound. Even at such an unearthly hour. Love you all! ♥

This portion is totally out of point so skip it if you want:

When I neither drink nor smoke, it does not mean that I am a whimp. It does not mean that I am uncool (whoever said burning your lungs was cool in the first place). As much as I am not the best, most holy person, I try my best to stick to my principles. And if you, as a grown up, still don't understand what the true meaning of principle is, then - best of luck to you.