Not having a "verified" diary to pen down my thoughts or going ons each day for a full sixteen years is prolly the most regrettable mistake ever. I clearly knew that 16 years would not be thrown back to me as & when I want it. I suppose I never really knew the meaning of TIME then.
16 years is a whole lot of time to have done a whole load of shit or to have made the best out of every moment. Sadly, I am not going for the latter this time. I have come to a point of realisation where I find myself totally vacant. I have realised that in these 16 years, I have not done something so very great that changed my life. Yes, I could have scored a few As here & there. Yes, I could have made my parents so angry that they were ready to kill me, perhaps? Yes, I could have made many friends/enemies. But none of that changed my life, not even once. I am not ashamed to say that I have told many lies within these 16 years. And neither am I ashamed to say that I have done many things I should have never even allowed myself to think about. But, let's just say that there is always a first to everything. People might think that their number of first(s) complete who they are inside. I don't believe in that. It does not matter what you do. As long as you know why you do it, I guess that suffices. Up till now, I wonder why people would bother endangering their own lives just to impress others. Does the hierarchy system in the society these days matter so much? I am very sure that if I was to conduct a survey on who would slit their wrists for their idol, they willingly would do it. I am very sure that if I was to conduct a survey on who would be in the nude for a whole 24 hours just for 1million bucks, they would think maybe for a second or two, forget they had dignity and agreed. Why? Why to this extent?
I am very ashamed and saddened that through these 16 years, I have had to face such temptations, such squat measures. I am thoroughly reluctant in engaging myself in such a society. A society where nothing matters anymore. Not dignity, not face, not family, not grace. If I was told to eat crap for $30k (just a scenario), I'd say, "If I was born to eat crap for $30k, I'd be a really expensive toilet bowl instead." Isn't that just much more sensible. Why trade our brain for $30k? When you/us can put that brain of yours to good use and earn more than $30k? Seriously, why? Yes, the world is changing. Let it happen naturally. Why rush change? When change is being quickened, not everyone can accept it. And when not everyone can catch up, anyone will agree to eat crap for $30k. I am saying this again because this is very true.
I am awfully mortified & thwarted.
What in the world happened to those pageant queens who say, "world peace" all the time? Gah. 16 years, and this is what it becomes. Brava! *applauds*
Ps: Don't you dare question me like that. Who are you to behave like you're perfect? I don't need anymore salt okay thanks.
16 years is a whole lot of time to have done a whole load of shit or to have made the best out of every moment. Sadly, I am not going for the latter this time. I have come to a point of realisation where I find myself totally vacant. I have realised that in these 16 years, I have not done something so very great that changed my life. Yes, I could have scored a few As here & there. Yes, I could have made my parents so angry that they were ready to kill me, perhaps? Yes, I could have made many friends/enemies. But none of that changed my life, not even once. I am not ashamed to say that I have told many lies within these 16 years. And neither am I ashamed to say that I have done many things I should have never even allowed myself to think about. But, let's just say that there is always a first to everything. People might think that their number of first(s) complete who they are inside. I don't believe in that. It does not matter what you do. As long as you know why you do it, I guess that suffices. Up till now, I wonder why people would bother endangering their own lives just to impress others. Does the hierarchy system in the society these days matter so much? I am very sure that if I was to conduct a survey on who would slit their wrists for their idol, they willingly would do it. I am very sure that if I was to conduct a survey on who would be in the nude for a whole 24 hours just for 1million bucks, they would think maybe for a second or two, forget they had dignity and agreed. Why? Why to this extent?
I am very ashamed and saddened that through these 16 years, I have had to face such temptations, such squat measures. I am thoroughly reluctant in engaging myself in such a society. A society where nothing matters anymore. Not dignity, not face, not family, not grace. If I was told to eat crap for $30k (just a scenario), I'd say, "If I was born to eat crap for $30k, I'd be a really expensive toilet bowl instead." Isn't that just much more sensible. Why trade our brain for $30k? When you/us can put that brain of yours to good use and earn more than $30k? Seriously, why? Yes, the world is changing. Let it happen naturally. Why rush change? When change is being quickened, not everyone can accept it. And when not everyone can catch up, anyone will agree to eat crap for $30k. I am saying this again because this is very true.
I am awfully mortified & thwarted.
What in the world happened to those pageant queens who say, "world peace" all the time? Gah. 16 years, and this is what it becomes. Brava! *applauds*
Ps: Don't you dare question me like that. Who are you to behave like you're perfect? I don't need anymore salt okay thanks.
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